Speaking Mute - 003 - "Quitting"

 

In recent days I have been writing a lot of entrance exams and passed and failed in some. But the only feeling I'm getting now is Quitting. I understand the importance of college and a degree, but it doesn't mean that I have to compete too much. This is ‘The Speaking Mute', an Oxymoronic way of saying what my thoughts are.

I used to think about just leaving the jobs I had once and moving to a job or work I like and just vanishing from reality. Just feel like I’ve completely failed and have nothing more to aim for. It's like an entry to Heaven. I never really cared too much about it but for the past 2 years, it was a living hell where you need to Adapt, fight, and survive as quitting leads to more problems. I just manage somehow but as a confident, radiating person more people trust me. And when I fail people question my ability. I can't answer as to why I failed and how to answer them that I didn't get in that moment, or it was tough. Like a normal Indian household, if you have a great ability to get and know stuff you are forced, But I chose, I can't blame but when I can't get it there’s a person who says 'it is ok'. Like I have not seen it anyway. I lost my 2 years without making friends in the new school and just had them in the end. I didn't enjoy my last 2 years I'm studying more than many students and having a hard time compared to them and can’t explain to my parents these as these are normal and failing is NORMAL.

There used to be a movie where a student of last year's Engineering commit suicide because of the extra pressure he gets from the college. I'm not saying we should not get under pressure or should have a defined system where students are benefitted. It's a topic of another day stating System is bad or outdated. But I'm saying if a person fails nobody supports him. Everybody questions his/her ability. If a failed person talks about his failure, they call 'What has he done to hear?' and when he achieves and tells his failures they call 'He has achieved everything and just imitates himself as a perfectionist.' Both the extremes are the worst, and I don't know why people are mean to each other in a competition.

Failing is a process of learning for me. Even if I don't get into a reputed college, it doesn't mean that I have not achieved something. It doesn't mean that you should stop the work that you are putting in for a good college. Working under pressure is going to come back when you work in an MNC or any other company. But understand it just that how we oversee it. Ask yourself and keep moving forward.

Parents sometimes don't get what you are doing and when you fail, they get emotional as if you will fall to a great depth. They want their babies to learn to walk without falling but it's not possible. Falling is good and falling is for learning. Learn and hit harder next time.

Mature adults don't seem to worry about their decisions but in reality, it's just that we worry that our decision doesn't shit up. - Anonymous

Quitting is like the grey area in this place as we can’t find is it wrong or right as it's like hitting concrete floor when you swing. There is no sand which prevents it. But if you need quitting from the work, you are doing and do another job or study just speak to your close one who supports you. If you are sure, then go and talk to your parents and make them understand. All parents understand. They were the ones who first hit the concrete floors, they know what you are going through. They just don't want you to get hit but once you make them understand they will let you.

In movies Failure for a hero would bare minimum last for 30 minutes then in the next shot there will be a piece of motivational music and the hero would work like a devil and becomes rich but understand, in that music time-lapse of around 5 years is shown.

Quitting from life is not a solution to any failure. There is always a way maybe a bush hides sometimes. But understand there is always a way. See some movies where the hero loses when he wins and get the idea that failure is universal. You don't want to be that Alpha hero but at least be that gamma male who understands the failure and learns to rise again.

Every time I see Nayakan movie of Kamal/Mani Ratnam I just feel Velu Nayakar could have had a good time but just get into a problem and failures and lost every time he wins. Should Life teach its lesson this hard? But after a few minutes, we get to know that Life first tests us and then teaches us.

Give me some sunshine, give me some rain

Give me another chance, I wanna grow up once again - Swanand Kirkire

 

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