Speaking Mute - 016 - "Pen"

 

Have you ever felt like just holding onto this one material you had a whole memory with? I had one for sure, which is a pen. Why a pen? I really had a huge collection of other materialistic things, but this pen defined a whole new meaning to me, which made me write this entire story. This is what I call 'The Speaking Mute,' an oxymoronic expression of my thoughts.

When I was in elementary school until junior high school, I was told I was good at math. But slowly, I didn't hear what they said about my brainy stuff and instead believed in something else. In my junior high school, I didn't do exams well for the first one or two papers. While my teacher said I was answering well in class, it was not reflected on paper. It was really quite a worry for an elementary to high school transition kid, not getting marks and suddenly going from a bright student to just becoming a dull one. After the following exam, I studied hard so I could get a decent mark. But I never believed in myself. Suddenly, before I could write, my pen's refill was gone, and now I had no pen to write the exam. So, I searched the desk to see if someone left another pen, and apparently, there was one.

I took the pen and started writing. After completing the exam, I just placed it in the lost and found box and left. The next day, the maths paper got corrected. Guess what? I got a hundred. I didn't believe in myself; instead, I went to the class and got the pen back.

From that day until the last maths exam in high school junior year, I was writing with the same pen. My maths marks improved. In 10th grade, I remember not studying for a maths exam and ending up scoring 80%. I believed the pen had magic, and it was a sign from the gods that I would get good marks.

Soon after the public exam in 10th grade, the refill of the pen suddenly ran out. I searched for a refill everywhere, but couldn't find one. Soon, I realized that the pen would just be a relic now. But again, my maths mark fell in high school senior year. I felt that pen was the reason, but soon I was on my way to understanding something.

Soon, I started to work on myself and believe in myself. I slowly accepted that the pen wouldn't help me in the exam, but the effort I put in before the exam would. So, I found out that the pen had no use but to sit on my pen stand now.

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts." - Winston Churchill

I guess life is also the same. Sometimes we have this hard feeling of accepting pain and pressure, and instead, we just put our guilt and pain on God or a materialistic thing. We place the blame on them, so even if we fail, we can blame them. We don't want any responsibility. But instead, from now on, for a change, put pressure on yourself and take it easy on others. Life is going to be on its own path, whether you like it or not. Instead of fighting, which can't change anything, it will make you feel useless. Instead, accept and embrace it. If you have any kind of material you believe has power, comment down your story. I'm always eager to hear.