Speaking Mute - 002 - "When you're gone"

 

Thanks for the overwhelming response to the first episode. It's been a great and great pleasure to know your stories and your inputs from DMs and messages. As readers, you can share your thoughts either in the comments or you can DM me on my Instagram and other social media handles. This is ‘The Speaking Mute', an Oxymoronic way of saying what thoughts are.

People usually take time to move on. And the same applies to celebrities also. And one of them is Shawn Mendes. When I was in my early teens Shawn and Camila kissed on the stadium. Now they are officially broken up as per media and Paparazzi. And Shawn's release of songs... 

He started to release 'When You're Gone' and 'It'll Be Okay'. And this is not happening for the first time. Let us talk about the Coping Mechanism.

As a Boy, I was not told to cry from my entry into Elementary School. I used to be a crybaby but eventually, I stopped crying under the fear of bullying. But eventually, I feel now why it is important not to cry. Just like feelings, but slowly it was coping with the surrounding. Slowly it started to reflect a lot that I started to be emotionally weak or insensitive due to which I didn't cry when my grandfather passed away. It is not that I'm blaming all those bullies but even teachers complained to my parents that I'm emotional. Like Ma'am this is School, not Army.

But eventually, I started to cry (Thanks to Lockdown Anxiety). But I thought I can manage but then Online classes started. As a nerd, I have attended some online classes before it was normalized like now. So, I thought it will be easy. But in starting even after the government ordered only 3 hrs of online classes I had 12 Hrs. Welcome to living as an IIT Aspirant. After these 12hrs I had to practice for tomorrow's chapter which they taught me in the past 3 days in a rush. Marks, Ranks, Goals and dreams, like too much pressure and anxiety that I'm done with. I need to go with the flow and that eventually happened in the end because we need time. I used to have sleepless nights due to this. It was blamed to be my problem that I'm not sharp or brilliant enough but now I feel like it was a tight schedule where there is no 'Work-life balance' as corporates say.

In this good time when I coped up and know how things work, I had my first relationship problem. And it was nearly the end of the last year when I fell for the person. And people who have read the previous one know what it was. (If you have not, read Speaking Mute - 001 - 'Shades of Love'). Then a rejection followed by it. Insecurities and Self-doubt. Nice 

Confessing and getting rejected is quite a hard thing for a confessor. Like I used to think when a person says 'We can't be friends' or 'It is over' or 'Trust broken' are so confusing to me as a confessor. Like we just said I love you, nothing more and asking you to replicate it and grow in it. I didn't hate you.

Like a story from a reader .... ' I was the one who confessed and got rejected and fell weak and vulnerable in front of him. Just to feel used as a piece of entertainment.' (It has been shortened due to what personal identity would reveal.)

It's okay coping up can take a weird drive like one point to another where another is nowhere. It is true because coping up is nothing but that Pokémon moment where they dodge the attack and follow back with another attack. Sometimes it's the worst thing you can get in your coping period. You will cry, you will shout, and you sometimes be completely blank. 

My coping mechanism was writing Poems, writing Fictional stories of mine; By the way, Kenny Sebastian's famous comic ‘Ken and Chip’ did the same for his dog Chipper, Music was the only thing I had all time. I still remember those 'Kun Faya Kun' moments when I used to sing along and forget the place I'm in. Let it be those Taylor Swift and Arijit Singh songs where I will never see my ex again. Songs helped me a lot. Also, special thanks to Spotify ads in the middle of the sad song jam session to make me laugh.

I made my dog cool in those fiction stories, At least it's the coolest thing. I would have done to him for his memory. Maybe chipper would be reading from dog’s heaven.
 - Kenny Sebastian - Simple Ken Podcast |EP 6 - Coping Mechanism

Other coping mechanisms like watching movies/series, roaming with friends, and creating new hobbies didn't work for me due to many external factors. But of course, you have things like deleting or throwing out the stuff which reminds you of that person or that thing. Delete chats. There used to be a ritual in death the Clothes of the dead person would also be made wet and would have thrown out in the last procession. So, it's all for coping up but knowing where to cope and where not to.

Understand you don't have to cope with all the matters, you can chill a bit. Please think twice before coping with Emotional and Work-Life balance things as some may not be required and you just need to say no.

It's Completely ok to feel vulnerable and weak, it makes us strong - Reader

So, I would end this topic of Coping by saying it's up to you whether to cope or not. But it would be best if you coped up for eventually a few things as they may be repeating in your life. And don't just randomly say life is suffering and coping up, 'grind! harder grind!', like no need to chill a bit and peace.